“Whats the Empire done for us?”

  Just imagine the scene.  A group of fighters from the Rebel Alliance gathered around a holo projector While Mon Mothma and General Madine go through their plan to kidnap Grand Moff Tarkin.

Mon Mothma: We’re getting in through the underground heating system here, up through into the main audience chamber here, and Tarkin’s bed room is here.  Having grabbed Tarkin, We inform the Emperor that Tarkin is in our custody and forthwith issue our demands.  Any Questions? 

Luke Skywalker: What exactly are the demands?

General Madine: We’re giving the Emperor two days to dismantle the entire apparatus of the Galactic Empire, and if he doesn’t agree immediately, we execute Tarkin.

Han Solo: Cut Tarkins head off?

Mon Mothama: Cut all his bits off.  Send ’em back on the hour every hour.  Show them we’re not to be trifled with.

General Madine: Also, we’re demanding a ten foot mahogany statue of Princess Leia in her slave out fit she wore for Jabba.

ALL: Laughing 

Wedge Antilles: What? They’ll never agree with that General

General Nadine: That’s just the bar — a bargaining counter.  And of course. we point out that they bear full responsibility when we chop Tarkin up. and that we shall not submit to blackmail!

ALL: No blackmail!

General Madine: They,ve bled us white, the poodo.  They’ve taken everything we had, and not just from us, from our fathers, and from our fathers’ fathers

Wedge Antilles: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers.

General Madine: Yeah!

Wedge Antilles: And from our fathers’ fathers’fathers’ fathers.

General Madine: Yeah.  All right. Wedge.  Don’t labour the point.  And what have they ever given us in return?

Biggs Darklighter: A stable Economy

General Madine: What?

Biggs Darklighter: A stable Economy

General Madine: Oh. Yeah, year.  They did give us that.  Uh, that’s true. Yeah.

Lando Calrissian: Advancements in technology

Wedge Antillies: Oh, yeah, the advancements in technology, General.  Remember what the city used to be like?

General Madine: Yeah.  All right. I’ll grant you the stable economy and the advancements in technology are two things the Empire has done.

Lobot: And the Hyper Space lanes

General Madine: Well, yeah.  Obviously the Hyper Space Lanes, I mean the Hyperspace lanes go without saying, don’t they:  But apart from the stable economy, the advancements in technology, and the Hyperspace lanes– 

Arvel Crynyd: Jobs.

 Biggs Darklighter:  Advanced cybernetics and medicine.

 ALL: Huh? Heh? Huh….

Bren Derlin: Education.

All: Ohh…

General Madine: Yeah, yeah.  All right. Fair enough.

Wes Janson: And the wine.

ALL: Oh, yes. Yeah…

Mon Mothama: Yeah.  Yeah, that’s something we’d really miss, General, if the Empire left.  Huh.

Wess Janson: and it’s safe to walk in the streets at night now, General.

Mon Mothama: Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order.  Let’s face it.  They’re the only ones who could in a galaxy like this.

ALL: Hehh, heh.  Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

General Madine: All right, but apart from the stable economy, the advancements in technology, and the Hyperspace lanes, jobs, advanced cybernetics and medicine and public health, What has the Empire ever done for us?

Lobot: Brought peace.

General Madine: Oh. Peace?  Shut up?

I’ve taken one or two liberties from Monty Pythons Life of Brian there but I think you see where I going.  Ok the Empire were a bit on the naughty side but in some ways they did better the galaxy.   Cybernetics were advanced thus helping people who would no longer be able to have a normal life could now have whole life support machines built into them thus leaving them to carry on a normal life.  Technology for one had not really changed in the last 1000 years but when The Galactic Empire was in charge all sorts of new and approved technology came up, look at the space crafts that appeared and lets not forget the Death Star.   In the Maw installation Grand Moff Tarkin kept some of the most brilliant minds working on new weapons of destruction.  Even education got a boast from the Empire, what with all the new Imperial academy’s popping up.  Also because of the huge scale of the new Imperial army and navy, new ships had to be built thus creating jobs for people and business’s recovering from a war.  Also because of all the planets that were now part of the Empire new hyperspace routes were opened up plus with all these new planets came new fashions. arts and of course wine!  But lets not forget the one big thing the Empire did do for the galaxy…..it brought peace!!!!!!

“Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy… And we shall have peace.“―Palpatine

 

 

 

From the Forest of Dean too County Kerry……

An article on the BBC news site reported that filming for Star Wars Episode VII has started on the island of Skellig Michael in County Kerry.  A couple of weeks ago there was also reports that filming for the new film was being shot at Puzzle Wood in the forest of Dean.  Its good to see that JJ Abrams has gone back to the old school way of filming in real locations instead of just filming on green screen.   While special effects nowadays look real you cant beat actual real locations.  I have been to puzzle wood when I was a teenager and its an amazing place and you can see why JRR Tolkien got his inspiration for the forests of Middle Earth.

Puzzle wood is found in the Forest of Dean in Gloucestershire, UK.  There is a mile of track that takes you through amazing forest and rock formations and natural caves.  Puzzle wood was created by erosion of the natural underground cave system which was then uplifted and exposed to the surface.  It was mined by Iron Age settlers and then the Romans.  In the early 1800’s the land owner open a mile of track opening the forest to his friends and family and it was not till the 1900’s that the forest was open up to the public.  In 1848 a group of workmen removed a block of stone and they found a small cavity and hidden there was three earthenware pots containing 3,000 Roman coins.  The forest is home to a number of tree’s , plants and wild life.  You will find Oak, Beech, Ash, Lime and Yew trees there as well as Soft shield fern, Harts tongue fern, Bluebells (late spring) and wild garlic.  If you are lucky you might catch site of badgers and foxes and there are plenty of different wild birds.  Also Puzzle wood is home to the endangered Greater Horse shoe bat.

Skellig Michael in the larger of two islands off County Kerry in Ireland.  The island was probably first inhabited around the 6th century and the monastery was supposed to be founded by Saint Fionan. There are six beehive cells, two oratories, a medieval church and a number of stone cross’s and slabs.  The monks that lived  there (around 12 plus the Abbot) lived on a diet of local caught fish, meat and eggs from the local birds and they grew their own vegetables.  They also created a very clever system for collecting and purifying rain water which was then collected in cisterns.  The monastery was occupied all the way until the 12th/13th century.  In 1826 two light houses were built on the island and the island gained world heritage listing in 1996.  Tour operators run 13 boats to the island each day, weather permitting!

Like i said you cant beat the real thing!  Also filming at real locations brings money and jobs to these places which means these places can carry on for year and years too come!!!!!

If you ever get the chance visit these wonderful places.  May the Force Be With You!