“Whats the Empire done for us?”

  Just imagine the scene.  A group of fighters from the Rebel Alliance gathered around a holo projector While Mon Mothma and General Madine go through their plan to kidnap Grand Moff Tarkin.

Mon Mothma: We’re getting in through the underground heating system here, up through into the main audience chamber here, and Tarkin’s bed room is here.  Having grabbed Tarkin, We inform the Emperor that Tarkin is in our custody and forthwith issue our demands.  Any Questions? 

Luke Skywalker: What exactly are the demands?

General Madine: We’re giving the Emperor two days to dismantle the entire apparatus of the Galactic Empire, and if he doesn’t agree immediately, we execute Tarkin.

Han Solo: Cut Tarkins head off?

Mon Mothama: Cut all his bits off.  Send ’em back on the hour every hour.  Show them we’re not to be trifled with.

General Madine: Also, we’re demanding a ten foot mahogany statue of Princess Leia in her slave out fit she wore for Jabba.

ALL: Laughing 

Wedge Antilles: What? They’ll never agree with that General

General Nadine: That’s just the bar — a bargaining counter.  And of course. we point out that they bear full responsibility when we chop Tarkin up. and that we shall not submit to blackmail!

ALL: No blackmail!

General Madine: They,ve bled us white, the poodo.  They’ve taken everything we had, and not just from us, from our fathers, and from our fathers’ fathers

Wedge Antilles: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers.

General Madine: Yeah!

Wedge Antilles: And from our fathers’ fathers’fathers’ fathers.

General Madine: Yeah.  All right. Wedge.  Don’t labour the point.  And what have they ever given us in return?

Biggs Darklighter: A stable Economy

General Madine: What?

Biggs Darklighter: A stable Economy

General Madine: Oh. Yeah, year.  They did give us that.  Uh, that’s true. Yeah.

Lando Calrissian: Advancements in technology

Wedge Antillies: Oh, yeah, the advancements in technology, General.  Remember what the city used to be like?

General Madine: Yeah.  All right. I’ll grant you the stable economy and the advancements in technology are two things the Empire has done.

Lobot: And the Hyper Space lanes

General Madine: Well, yeah.  Obviously the Hyper Space Lanes, I mean the Hyperspace lanes go without saying, don’t they:  But apart from the stable economy, the advancements in technology, and the Hyperspace lanes– 

Arvel Crynyd: Jobs.

 Biggs Darklighter:  Advanced cybernetics and medicine.

 ALL: Huh? Heh? Huh….

Bren Derlin: Education.

All: Ohh…

General Madine: Yeah, yeah.  All right. Fair enough.

Wes Janson: And the wine.

ALL: Oh, yes. Yeah…

Mon Mothama: Yeah.  Yeah, that’s something we’d really miss, General, if the Empire left.  Huh.

Wess Janson: and it’s safe to walk in the streets at night now, General.

Mon Mothama: Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order.  Let’s face it.  They’re the only ones who could in a galaxy like this.

ALL: Hehh, heh.  Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

General Madine: All right, but apart from the stable economy, the advancements in technology, and the Hyperspace lanes, jobs, advanced cybernetics and medicine and public health, What has the Empire ever done for us?

Lobot: Brought peace.

General Madine: Oh. Peace?  Shut up?

I’ve taken one or two liberties from Monty Pythons Life of Brian there but I think you see where I going.  Ok the Empire were a bit on the naughty side but in some ways they did better the galaxy.   Cybernetics were advanced thus helping people who would no longer be able to have a normal life could now have whole life support machines built into them thus leaving them to carry on a normal life.  Technology for one had not really changed in the last 1000 years but when The Galactic Empire was in charge all sorts of new and approved technology came up, look at the space crafts that appeared and lets not forget the Death Star.   In the Maw installation Grand Moff Tarkin kept some of the most brilliant minds working on new weapons of destruction.  Even education got a boast from the Empire, what with all the new Imperial academy’s popping up.  Also because of the huge scale of the new Imperial army and navy, new ships had to be built thus creating jobs for people and business’s recovering from a war.  Also because of all the planets that were now part of the Empire new hyperspace routes were opened up plus with all these new planets came new fashions. arts and of course wine!  But lets not forget the one big thing the Empire did do for the galaxy…..it brought peace!!!!!!

“Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy… And we shall have peace.“―Palpatine

 

 

 

My top five favourite Star Wars characters…. Whats yours? Number 4 is Boba Fett…..

  Number four in my list of favourite star wars characters is that might mandalorian Boba Fett!!!!  We first officially saw Boba Fett in Star Wars episode  V Empire Strikes Back but he did make an appearance in Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope (the revamped one in the star wars trilogy box set)  In Empire Strikes back we meet Boba Fett and a band of bounty hunters on the bridge of the Executor and Darth Vader delivers that line…….

Darth Vader – “There will be a substantial reward for the one who finds the Millennium Falcon. You are free to use any methods necessary, but I want them alive. No disintegrations.“

Boba Fett – “As you wish.“

After that small cameo Boba Fett became a firm favourite with Star Wars fans!!!  With his Mandalorian armour and his ship Slave I he looked the ultimate bad ass!!!!!  Under that no nonsense get the job done no job is to small attitude Boba did have a soft side when it came to his father Jango who he sorely missed.  My favourite part of Boba’s life is when he becomes Mand’alor of a planet he really knows nothing about.  He cant speak the language and dose not really know anything about the Mandalore way of life but that dose not stop him being a great mandalore!  There are rumours that Star Wars episode VII will feature mandolorians so hears hoping Boba will be making an appearance once again!!!!!!  Also there is talk on a Star Wars standalone film about Boba Fett which I really hope they do make!!!!

Boba’s story starts on the planet Kamino.  The one unaltered clone of his father (part of Jango’s payment for being the template for the republics clone army)  Boba had a happy upbringing with his father who taught him the ways of being a bounty hunter until Jango was beheaded by Mace Windu on Geonosis.  Boba started his career as a bounty hunter not long after the death of his father and over the years became the best in the business.  At the age of 16 he married Sintas and they had a baby girl called Ailyn.   The marriage did not last long and they parted ways only to meet again much much later.( read Star Wars legacy of the force)  Boba had many run ins with Han Solo and he also faced off against Darth Vader (and lived!!!!!)  When he did eventually get Solo and delivered him to Jabba the Hutt Boba was thought to have been killed when during the execution of Luke Skywalker to the sarlacc a blind Han Solo accidentally damages Boba rocket pack sending him into the mouth of the sarlacc.  Was this the end of the mighty Boba Fett?  Nope he managed to fight his way out of the sarlakcc’s stomach and blasted out to safety.  Boba was left scared from the acids in the sarlacc’s stomach but this didn’t stop him from carrying on being the best bounty hunter in the galaxy.  Around the year 23ABY Boba promised the dying Fenn Shysa that he would become the next Mand’alor.  Now not only being the best bounty hunter he was now the leader of the planet Mandalore.  Boba would go on to have a very long and productive life!!!!!