Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?

  Just recently we got to see the new design for the Stormtrooper helmet for Star Wars episode VII.  The new design pays homage to Ralph McQuarries original art work while still looking new and original.  There are also similarities to the original Stormtrooper helmet from episodes IV, V and VI.  Going all the way back to the Clone Wars the Stormtrooper armour has come along in steps and bounds to what we see now in Episode VII.

The first clone troopers received Phase one clone trooper armour.  Twenty form-fitting plates sealed to a black body suit and resembling Mandalorian Shock trooper Armour.  The armour was a dazzling bright white and the helmet had a fin along the top.  During the Clone Wars the Phase II armour was brought in.  This armour was lighter and more comfortable to wear.  The new armour was more advanced and came with a lot of improvements such as an air filtration and oxygen system, polarized lenses and the boots were magnetized and incorporated a grav-field alternator to ensure stability.  There was also many variations to suit different environments and missions.  After the birth of the Empire clone troopers were called Stormtroopers and again there was a change in their armour.  The stormtroopers armour composed of eighteen pieces that attached to a black body suit.  Again this armour came with many of the things that were contained in the Phase II armour.  The new stormtrooper armour also contained power gloves, Manual suit seal and environmental controls, knee protector on the left to make kneeling firing position more comfortable and IFF circuitry in the back for easier identification.  The helmet contained advanced filtering systems, communications and visual aids to support the stormtrooper in action.  The utility built carried by the stormtrooper carried quite an amazing amount of equipment, including a grappling hook, four spare blaster power packs, three ion flares, rations, a spare comlink, two med packs plus a thermal detonator plus other equipment.

 

“Whats the Empire done for us?”

  Just imagine the scene.  A group of fighters from the Rebel Alliance gathered around a holo projector While Mon Mothma and General Madine go through their plan to kidnap Grand Moff Tarkin.

Mon Mothma: We’re getting in through the underground heating system here, up through into the main audience chamber here, and Tarkin’s bed room is here.  Having grabbed Tarkin, We inform the Emperor that Tarkin is in our custody and forthwith issue our demands.  Any Questions? 

Luke Skywalker: What exactly are the demands?

General Madine: We’re giving the Emperor two days to dismantle the entire apparatus of the Galactic Empire, and if he doesn’t agree immediately, we execute Tarkin.

Han Solo: Cut Tarkins head off?

Mon Mothama: Cut all his bits off.  Send ’em back on the hour every hour.  Show them we’re not to be trifled with.

General Madine: Also, we’re demanding a ten foot mahogany statue of Princess Leia in her slave out fit she wore for Jabba.

ALL: Laughing 

Wedge Antilles: What? They’ll never agree with that General

General Nadine: That’s just the bar — a bargaining counter.  And of course. we point out that they bear full responsibility when we chop Tarkin up. and that we shall not submit to blackmail!

ALL: No blackmail!

General Madine: They,ve bled us white, the poodo.  They’ve taken everything we had, and not just from us, from our fathers, and from our fathers’ fathers

Wedge Antilles: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers.

General Madine: Yeah!

Wedge Antilles: And from our fathers’ fathers’fathers’ fathers.

General Madine: Yeah.  All right. Wedge.  Don’t labour the point.  And what have they ever given us in return?

Biggs Darklighter: A stable Economy

General Madine: What?

Biggs Darklighter: A stable Economy

General Madine: Oh. Yeah, year.  They did give us that.  Uh, that’s true. Yeah.

Lando Calrissian: Advancements in technology

Wedge Antillies: Oh, yeah, the advancements in technology, General.  Remember what the city used to be like?

General Madine: Yeah.  All right. I’ll grant you the stable economy and the advancements in technology are two things the Empire has done.

Lobot: And the Hyper Space lanes

General Madine: Well, yeah.  Obviously the Hyper Space Lanes, I mean the Hyperspace lanes go without saying, don’t they:  But apart from the stable economy, the advancements in technology, and the Hyperspace lanes– 

Arvel Crynyd: Jobs.

 Biggs Darklighter:  Advanced cybernetics and medicine.

 ALL: Huh? Heh? Huh….

Bren Derlin: Education.

All: Ohh…

General Madine: Yeah, yeah.  All right. Fair enough.

Wes Janson: And the wine.

ALL: Oh, yes. Yeah…

Mon Mothama: Yeah.  Yeah, that’s something we’d really miss, General, if the Empire left.  Huh.

Wess Janson: and it’s safe to walk in the streets at night now, General.

Mon Mothama: Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order.  Let’s face it.  They’re the only ones who could in a galaxy like this.

ALL: Hehh, heh.  Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

General Madine: All right, but apart from the stable economy, the advancements in technology, and the Hyperspace lanes, jobs, advanced cybernetics and medicine and public health, What has the Empire ever done for us?

Lobot: Brought peace.

General Madine: Oh. Peace?  Shut up?

I’ve taken one or two liberties from Monty Pythons Life of Brian there but I think you see where I going.  Ok the Empire were a bit on the naughty side but in some ways they did better the galaxy.   Cybernetics were advanced thus helping people who would no longer be able to have a normal life could now have whole life support machines built into them thus leaving them to carry on a normal life.  Technology for one had not really changed in the last 1000 years but when The Galactic Empire was in charge all sorts of new and approved technology came up, look at the space crafts that appeared and lets not forget the Death Star.   In the Maw installation Grand Moff Tarkin kept some of the most brilliant minds working on new weapons of destruction.  Even education got a boast from the Empire, what with all the new Imperial academy’s popping up.  Also because of the huge scale of the new Imperial army and navy, new ships had to be built thus creating jobs for people and business’s recovering from a war.  Also because of all the planets that were now part of the Empire new hyperspace routes were opened up plus with all these new planets came new fashions. arts and of course wine!  But lets not forget the one big thing the Empire did do for the galaxy…..it brought peace!!!!!!

“Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy… And we shall have peace.“―Palpatine

 

 

 

My top five favourite Star Wars characters…. Whats yours? Number 1 is………

At last we have reached number one in my list of the top five of my favourite Star Wars characters.  Coming in a number one is the Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi.  The first time we officially meet Obi-Wan is when he rescues Luke Skywalker from the Tuskens.  We then learn some of his past history as a Jedi and as a  general during the clone wars when he talks to Luke about Luke’s father Anakin Skywalker.  Obi Wan was a skilled Jedi and very powerful in the force.  He was an excellent fighter pilot (even thou he hated flying) and a master of the Soresu style of lightsaber combat.  Even thou he was a master with the lightsaber Obi Wan preferred to talk and work things out then fight thus earning him the nickname of “The Negotiator”

Obi-Wan nearly didn’t make it as a Jedi as he was not selected to be a padawan learner and ended up being transferred to the Jedi Service Corps.  It was with the corps that he helped Qui-Gon Jinn who was on planet with a mission.  After that Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan as his padawan learner.  Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were to completely different personalities but made a very effective team completing many missions together.

Kenobi: “I have a bad feeling about this.”

Jinn: “I don’t sense anything.”

Kenobi: “It’s not about the mission, Master. It’s something elsewhere…elusive.”

It was on a mission to try to end the blockade of Naboo and the later adventures that would follow, Obi-Wan first met his future Padawan Anakin Skywalker while on Tatooine.  In later events that followed he promised his dying master that he would take on the young boy and teach him the ways of the force.  Obi-Wan was a patient teacher to Anakin who was not the easiest of pupils and they had many adventures together.  It was Obi-Wan that discovered the clone army on Kamino.  During the clone wars Obi-Wan like nearly all of the Jedi masters acted as general to his clone soldiers.  Obi-Wan took part in many of the battles during the clone wars.  It was during the clone wars that his padwan Anakin became a Jedi Knight and it was also when Obi-Wan came face to face with the murder of his former master Darth Maul.  It was Obi-Wan you killed General Grievous while on Utapau.  It was on Utapau that Obi-Wans clone troopers turned on him after the issue of order 66.  Obi-Wan was able to survive his attack and was able to meet up with Jedi Grand Master Yoda where they discovered that most of the Jedi had been killed and that they had been betrayed my the Supreme Chancellor and Obi-Wans old padawan learner Anakin who now was a Sith lord under the name of Darth Vader.  Obi-Wan meet his former padawan on Mustafar where they battled with Obi-Wan coming out the victor.

“You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them! Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!“―Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan left what was left of Darth Vader on the bank of a larva river leaving the Force to decide his fate.  He took Vaders lightsaber and with the unconscious Padme met up with Yoda And Senator Bail Organa.  To their surprise Padame gave birth to twins Luke and Leia.  Leia was adopted by Organa and Obi-Wan took Luke to Tatooine to live with his step uncle and aunt Owen and Beru on their moisture farm.  Obi-Wan stayed on Tatooine to watch over Luke from afar and wait till he was old enough to learn the ways of the force.  Obi-Wan went into exile and changed his name to Ben.  Many years later while Luke was looking for R2-D2 who had escaped from the farm Luke ran into a group of Tuskens who attacked him.  Obi-Wan using the force to make him self sound like a Krayt Dragon scared the Tuskens away and took Luke back to his home.  There he gave Luke his father’s lightsaber and told him a half truth about his father being a Jedi and being killed by Darth Vader.  Obi-Wan watched the message from Leia asking for his help and then asked Luke to join him and learn the ways of the force.  At first Luke said he could not help but after the death of his aunt and uncle he decided to help and learn to be a Jedi.  Soon we are aboard the Millennium Falcon with Han Solo and Chewbacca on their way to Alderaan.  When they arrive at their destination they find the planet has been destroyed and end up running into the Death Star.  While the others are helping Leia to escape Obi-Wan goes to deactivate the tractor beam.  On his way back to the Millennium Falcon he feels the presence of Darth Vader.

Darth Vader: “I’ve been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the Master.”
Obi-Wan Kenobi: “Only a master of evil, Darth.“

To distract Darth Vader and the stormtroopers from Luke, Leia, Han and Chewbacca, Obi-Wan battles Darth Vader.

Darth Vader: Your powers are weak, old man.
Obi-Wan: You can’t win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

With those final words Obi-Wan holds his lightsaber straight in front of him and as Darth Vader takes the killing stroke Obi-Wan vanishes and Darth Vaders lightsaber strikes just empty robes!  This was not the end for Obi-Wan.  Just before his self exile on Tattoine Yoda gives him a new lesson to learn, How to become a Force Ghost.  Obi-Wan speaks to Luke during the battle of Yavin helping Luke use the force to destroy the Death Star.  Obi-Wan helps Luke a number of times even taking over Luke’s body so he could survive a dual with Darth Vader.  Obi-Wan appears to Luke after he had escaped the Wampa telling Luke to go to Dagobah so he can start his Jedi training from Yoda

Obi-Wan: “You will go to the Dagobah system”
Luke: “Dagobah system?”
Obi-Wan: “There, you will learn from Yoda, the Jedi Master who instructed me.“

Ob-Wan appears to Luke again just after the death of Yoda to tell Luke the reason why he didn’t tell him the truth about his father and then again after the battle of Endor Obi_wan appears to Luke with the force ghosts of Yoda and Anakin Skywalker.   It was about  five years after the battle of Endor that Obi-Wan appears to Luke for the very last time.  Obi-Wan legacy lives on in Luke and Mara‘s son Ben Skywalker and Obi-Wans skill as a tactician.

Obi-Wan: “And now, farewell. I loved you as a son, and as a student, and as a friend. Until we meet again, may the Force be with you.“

It was not really till the three pre equal films and the clone wars series that we really got to know Obi-Wan.  Through all his serious nature there was a more human side to him, making jokes and even falling in Love and nearly leaving the order!

Satine: “I’ve loved you from the moment you came to my aid all those years ago.” […]
Obi-Wan: “Had you said the word, I would have left the Jedi Order.“

Obi-Wan tries his very best when he takes on Anakin to be just as good a master as Qui-Gon was to him and you could see the hurt in him when he finds out that Anakin has gone over to the dark side and ends up believing that maybe he had let down Anakin in someway not knowing that it was Darth Sidious plotting and arranging matters that finally drove Anakin to the dark side.  Obi-Wan will always be my favourite character and Jedi in the star wars universe!.

 

Some Obi-Wan quotes

Obi-Wan: I have a bad feeling about this.
Qui-Gon Jinn: I don’t sense anything.
Obi-Wan: It’s not about the mission, Master. It’s something… elsewhere. Elusive.

Elan Sleazebaggano: You wanna buy some death-sticks?
[Obi-Wan executes the Jedi Mind Trick]
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You don’t want to sell me death sticks.
Elan Sleazebaggano: Ah, I don’t want to sell you death sticks.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You want to go home and rethink your life.
Elan Sleazebaggano: I want to go home and rethink my life.

General Grievous: Anakin Skywalker. I expected someone with your reputation to be a little… older.
Anakin Skywalker: General Grievous… you’re shorter than I expected.
General Grievous: Jedi scum!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: We have a job to do, Anakin. Try not to upset him.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Hello there!
General Grievous: General Kenobi, you are a bold one!

Obi-Wan Kenobi: You have allowed this dark lord to twist your mind, until now, until now you’ve become the very thing you swore to destroy.
Anakin Skywalker: Don’t lecture me, Obi-Wan! I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new Empire.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Your new Empire?
Anakin Skywalker: Don’t make me kill you.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic, to democracy.
Anakin Skywalker: If you’re not with me, then you’re my enemy.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: [realizing that Anakin is consumed by evil and there’s no reasoning with him anymore] Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
[draws his lightsaber]
Obi-Wan Kenobi: I will do what I must.
Anakin Skywalker: You will try.
[draws his lightsaber and confronts Obi-Wan]

Obi-Wan: I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn’t allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade like your father did.
Luke: What is it?
Obi-Wan: Your father’s light saber. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times… before the Empire.

Stormtrooper: Let me see your identification.
Obi-Wan: [with a small wave of his hand] You don’t need to see his identification.
Stormtrooper: We don’t need to see his identification.
Obi-Wan: These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.
Stormtrooper: These aren’t the droids we’re looking for.
Obi-Wan: He can go about his business.
Stormtrooper: You can go about your business.
Obi-Wan: Move along.
Stormtrooper: Move along… move along.
Obi-Wan: That’s no moon. It’s a space station.

Obi-Wan: Use the Force, Luke.
Obi-Wan: [after hiding from the stormtroopers on the Millennium Falcon] Who’s the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?

 

Am I the only one getting put off the new film by all these plot details?

Sitting out in the back garden yesterday having a coffee and a cigarette I come across the new plot details for episode VII and a near animal growl animates from my mouth!!!!!  If you haven’t heard the news the latest plot is as follows

After the opening crawl updating us on what’s been happening since Return of the Jedi the camera pans down not to a space ship but a severed hand holding a lightsaber.  This hand and lightsaber some how survives re entry to a desert planet and are found by Daisy Ridleys and John Boyega charcters.  They know the lightsaber is a relic of the past and decide to try and find the owner.  In their travels they come across Han Solo and Chewbacca who are no longer piloting the Falcon????  Han recognises the lightsaber as the one Obi Wan Kenobi gave to Luke Skywalker.  Han has not seen Luke since the battle of Endor so they all go on a hunt to find Luke.  Meanwhile what’s left of the Empire are building a new secret super weapon on some ice planet.

 

Ive got one or two problems with this!!!!  How does a hand survive re entry through a planets atmosphere???  If the lightsaber Han recognises is the one originally built by Anakin Skywalker then how did it survive the fall through the planet Bespins core????  and then reach outer space.  Also a Jedi’s lightsaber is not indestructible and again that begs the differ on how it survived re entry in a planets atmosphere?  Also what’s been happening since Endor?  At the end of Return of the Jedi everyone from Bespin to Coruscant to Naboo were celebrating the fall of the Empire! so its sounds like everything did not go quite to plan for the Rebellion.  Then there the new superweapon that’s being built.  Its much smaller then the Death Star but it can destroy whole solar systems not just planets.  This smacks of the Sun Crusher which was not a very large ship but could take out whole solar systems just by making the systems sun go super nova.  The story also smells like a revamp of episode VI with very similar characters on a very similar quest.

But again all these rumours could be false just a red herring to taste the waters of all us Star Wars fans out there.  I`m gonna keep reading the rumours as they come up even if they make me mad and want to send Boba Fett after JJ Abrams.  We will just have to sit tight and wait for when the movie hits the cinema and probably all these worries will be for nothing.

On other news yesterday we got to see the new design for the X-Wing which many of us (even my good self) mistook for a Z-95 Head Hunter!

Till next time. May The Force Be With You!!!!!